What if your 20s aren’t about having it all figured out, but about learning to love the “what ifs”?
Looking back at the younger version of myself I probably imagined my 20s as effortlessly easier. I thought I would be going through life with everything perfectly aligned—career, relationship, but if there’s one thing I’ve mastered, it’s my skincare routine. Which is still a success if you ask. The rest? It’s a work in progress.
I’m navigating a mix of excitement and uncertainty of the “What ifs?” moments perpetuating in an existential crisis that come around every 2 to 3 weeks. Conversations with my friends have a theme: What’s next? Where do I go from here? We’re all chasing something—our purpose, a career that feels fulfilling, a romantic relationship that makes us feel a little bit like magic or just a sense of clarity.
The truth is, none of us have it all figured out. I always wonder what if I moved somewhere warmer, ditched the London grind? Or what if I swapped my carefully curated routines for chaos, moving again to another city. There are many versions of myself that are itching to be lived. Or maybe, just maybe, I could leave it all behind, quit the 9-to-5 entirely and chase my passions. It’s easy to romanticise the idea of freedom living without constraints, following my creativity wherever it leads me, but I think it wouldn’t go on for too long as structure has its place in providing a sense of balance. Maybe the question for most of us isn’t whether we should give up our job for our passions but how we can integrate both in a way that feels true to us. I don’t have to pick one thing over the other. There’s room to weave my passions into the fabric of my everyday life, even if it takes time to figure out how that works.
And then there’s love—my favourite, but also one of the trickiest emotion I chase. It’s one of the pillars most of us are after I think? The freedom to embrace love in all its messiness. Finding someone who challenges me, brings out the best in me, and makes me feel alive. A friend says “the dating scene can be...tragic” —I agree, finding the right person in the midst of all the noise feels like trying to find a needle in a haystack. Yet with all the chaos, I still believe the magic is still out there, I’ve experienced that with a bit of bravery the right connection can happen when you least expect it.
You’re also expected to figure out who you are, what you want, and where you’re going, all while dealing with the pressure of navigating adulthood and honestly, I’m just a girl. We spend so much time comparing ourselves to others, trying to measure our success. You can feel like you’re behind when everyone around you seems to have it all figured out. Putting things into perspective, these daydreams aren’t signs of doubt, they’re proof of our curiosity—our capacity to imagine different versions of ourselves, to dream bigger, to wonder. Sure, your 20s are messy, and the road ahead is blurry at best. But maybe that’s the point? Some confusion meets possibility? Instead of panicking, why not see our endless questions and “what ifs” as a reminder that we’re still wide-eyed with wonder? What if we embraced the unknown, and let behind the pressure society puts on us on having everything figured out. None of us will look back on our 20s wishing we had worried more. Instead, we’ll probably wish we had taken more risks—moved to that new city, embraced more moments of spontaneity, let go of the fear that we weren’t ready or we weren’t enough.
Things are ever-changing and maybe instead of focusing on the "what ifs," perhaps the better question is: What now? What can I do right here, right now, to create a life that feels true to me?
